Bedtime Prayers (a.k.a. Bedtime Laughs)

I try to keep a straight face when Emma does something that she shouldn't, but it cracks me up and I'm dying laughing on the inside.  Tonight, I just couldn't hold it in.  We were praying at bedtime and I was last to pray.  My prayer goes something like this:

"God, thank you for today and being able to open presents.  Thank you for Kaleb and how much fun we have, how very smart Kaleb is..."  only to be interrupted.

Emma:  He's not very smart.
Dad:  Emma, that's naughty.  Kaleb is very smart and I don't want you to ever say that again.  Do you hear me? [Yes, I can hear my own father saying the exact same thing to me 25 years ago.]

Emma:  [Silence]
Dad:  Emma, do you hear me?
Emma:  Yes, I hear you.
Dad:  What did I say?
Emma:  You said 'Emma, do you hear me?'
Dad:  No, about Kaleb being smart.  I don't ever want to hear you say Kaleb is not smart.  Emma, I want you to say to me "I will never say Kaleb is not very smart.", okay?
Emma:  Okay.  "I will never say Kaleb is not very smart...hey, I just said it again!"

How in the world is a parent supposed to keep a straight face after hearing that?

Christmas Shopping Made Easy

The last 2 weeks have been incredibly hectic.  It seems like 18 deadlines on cases came due at the exact same time.  Since in the last 2 weeks I rarely got home before the kids were in bed, I didn't get a lot of choice Emma-Isms to pass along.  Today, though, is a different story.

Emma seems to have a horrible bias against cleaning.  I'm 110% sure she got that from me.  In her avoidance of cleaning, she got into Krystin's jewelry.  As a backstory to what took place this afternoon, this morning Emma was complaining to Krystin saying "It's not fair.  I have zero rings and you have a bunch of rings.  How come I don't have a bunch of rings?"

Krystin found one of Emma's purses hanging on a random door handle in the hall.  As Krystin goes to put the purse away, she finds a little jewelry box inside.  The following conversation took place next.

Krystin:  What is this in your purse? 
Emma:  No Mommy!  Don't open your Christmas present!
[Krystin opens the box.]
Krystin:  These are my rings Emma!
Emma:  [Spoken sadly:]  I was going to give them to you for Christmas.

So, if you're having trouble deciding what to give someone for Christmas, or it's December 24th and you're in panic mode, take Emma's advice: Give the gift that's already been given.  You know they'll love it! 

Cinderella...I feel ya sister!

Tonight before bed, Emma decided to play dress up.  Nothing wrong with a little healthy fantasy play.  So, Emma gets one of her princess dresses on and comes out to the living room.  Krystin sees her and says

Krystin:  Emma, you're supposed to be in your room cleaning before you go to bed.
Emma:  (In a very low, sullen voice) Ok step-mother.

To all the relatives, please do NOT give her Cinderella for a Christmas present!

Tricking my Tongue

Tonight Emma was not crazy about the chicken broccoli and rice casserole we were having for dinner, but she really wanted some chocolate pudding. I told her she had to eat the casserole if she wanted the pudding. She whined, "But I don't like this dinner!" I replied, "Just start saying you love it. Maybe you can trick your tongue and your mouth will start liking it." A few minutes later I hear her talking to herself saying, "I love it, I LOVE it! This is so yummy! Ha, tongue, I tricked you! MOM!!!! It's really working! I ate it all gone!"

Selling Eliza Kate

Most of you know that I design little girls' clothing and sell it through a company I call Eliza Kate Designs. If you didn't, hop on over and have a look around at this season's designs! http://www.elizakatedesigns.com/ (shameless plug)

A friend had a trunk show at her house this weekend, and Emma really wanted to come along, so I brought her.  She loves wearing my designs and telling everyone mommy made them. How can I argue with that kind of free advertising, right? People are seriously going to think I put her up to this, but I swear I had nothing to do with it! She asked the hostess of the party, "Do you sew?" The hostess replied, "Terribly, so I guess, no, I don't." Emma said, "Ok, that's why you need that catalog I just gave you." Then she proceeded to pass out order forms in the same manner to other people at the party. Nothing wrong with letting a three year old earn her keep, right?