Move over Brent Musberger

Emma and Kaleb share a room. Before Drew came along, they were going to get their own rooms, but with 2 rooms available and 3 kids, some sharing had to happen. Kaleb's favorite past-time is annoying his older sister. This happens most often when they go to bed. In Kaleb's defense, we have heard this dialoge take place numerous times:
Emma: (in a whisper) - Kaleb come here.

Kaleb gets out of bed going to Emma.

Emma: (yelling at the top of her lungs) KALEB IS OUT OF BED!!!!!!
But for every time that he was tricked by Emma, Kaleb has at least one instance of pure naughty-ness to his older sister. Tonight was no different.

Emma started with the "Kaleb is out of bed!!!" (short pause) "Kaleb is annoying me!!!"
Krysitn: Kaleb get back in bed! Ignore him Emma and face the wall!

As I got up to go to the kitchen I look back to their room and see Kaleb sitting on top of Emma clapping and being as annoying as possible and Emma is quietly facing the wall ignoring his antics. We discipline Kaleb and put him back in bed. Then we praise Emma for doing what we asked her to do.

A few minutes go by after we leave. Emma must have felt empowered by the praise we gave her and Kaleb equally determined to avoid our wrath if he gets out of bed becuase we hear the following play-by-play.

Emma: Mom! Kaleb is out of bed, in bed, out of bed, in bed, out of bed. Kaleb get in bed!

I can only imagine seeing Kaleb jumping in and out of bed as Emma let us know exactly what Kaleb was doing.

The Ultimate Compliment

Thanksgiving is great.  Families get together, eat a lot of turkey, stuff their face with mashed potatoes and eat disgusting desserts.  Um, what?  Yes, disgusting desserts.  After we got done with our Thanksgiving meal, we all got some desserts.  We had the options of pumpkin pie, carrot cake, and a chocolate dessert that my grandmother makes.  It has a pie-type crust with cool whip, then a chocolate layer followed by more cool whip.  It tastes as great as it sounds being described.  Kaleb had some and so did my Grandma Gennie (Kaleb's great-grandmother).  After Kaleb had eaten about 3/4 of his dessert, he looked at Grandma Gennie's plate and asked, "Why are you eating that disgusting thing?"  I could hardly keep my own dessert in my mouth from laughing so hard.  Krystin asked him, "What did you say?"  Without missing a word, he repeated it exactly, "Why are you eating that disgusting thing?"  Of course we had to ask, "Do you like what you're eating?"  "Um, yeah!" Kaleb replied.  Me - "Then why are you calling it disgusting if you like it?"  Kaleb - "I don't know."

I don't know if he was trying to be sly and convince his great-grandma that what she was about to eat was disgusting and that he (Kaleb) would be willing to dispose of it.  He may not even understand what "disgusting" means, but he made it one memorable Thanksgiving!

No Vacancy

Tonight at dinner, Emma said, "We're going on a field trip next week."
Dad:  "Where are you going?"
Emma:  "I don't know.  But we're going on Monday."
Dad:  "Do you pay attention in class?"
Emma:  "Yes, I pay attention."
Dad:  "Are you telling me that your teacher has never said where you are going on your field trip?"
Emma:  "She probably told me, but my brain is still so small and it is already so full that there wasn't anywhere else for it to go, so it went into someone else's brain."
Dad (through laughter):  "Ok.  Glad we got that cleared up."

I have a feeling we're going to be in for some great excuses in the future.

The kind of boy you want to take home to meet your....Grandma!

Kaleb loves Mother's Day Out.  He loves the crafts, the snacks, the play time, and the grandmas.  Krystin and Kaleb were walking down the hall on the way out after MDO and Kaleb sees someone sitting at a desk doing some work.  Naturally, he says "Hey, how you doing?".  So Karis Stemen, who was working in her office, comes to her office door and starts chatting with Kaleb. 

Karis:  I'm good, how are you?
Kaleb:  I'm 2.
Karis:  Well, I'm not going to tell you how old I am.

After Krystin got Kaleb away and started walking down the hall towards the exit, Kaleb, in his matter-of-fact tone of voice said, "Grandmas like me."

Ice Cream Truck Blues

Our poor deprived kids have never had ice cream from the ice cream truck and honestly, I'm not sad about it. I think it is way overpriced, and I would much rather go to Braum's and get them a $0.79 junior ice cream cone than a buy a $3 popsicle from an ice cream truck.

Today when the kids were riding tricycles in the driveway, the ice cream truck went cruising our street, which is a rare thing, and the kids were in awe. Emma's eyes grew wide and  as she ran to the edge of the yard to look, and Kaleb yelled, "Mickey Mouse! I think Mickey Mouse is coming!" The truck rolled down our street with a giant Blue Bunny ice cream logo on the side. When the truck driver saw Emma at the edge of the yard, he stopped on the other side of the street in front of our house just in time to hear Emma yell to him, "Do you sell bunnies?" I was laughing too hard to hear his response.

Best-Friends Day

Emma loves holidays.  She loves doing special things on those special days that have been set aside for various reasons.  A few years ago between Mother's Day and Father's Day she was sad because there was not a Kid's Day.  So, in our family, the first Tuesday of June is always Kid's Day.  Today Emma was asking Krystin if there was a Best Friends' Day.

Emma:  Mom, is there a best friends' day?
Krystin:  I'm not sure.  There probably is but I don't know when it is.
Emma:  I have an idea!  How about we make a Best Friends' Day?  We can make it in August!
Krystin:  I have news for you Emma, it's already September.
Emma:  Oh man!  We missed Best Friends' Day!

This makes me think of something Joey Tribbiani would say.  (....pssst.....Joey Tribbiani was one of the 6 friends on F-R-I-E-N-D-S).

Understanding the Omnipresence of God

Kaleb, our 2 1/2 year old is in potty training.  He is so proud when he goes in the potty that he wants an audience.  Tonight he says "Dad!  I have to go poo-poo!"  I reassuringly respond by saying "That's great buddy!  Go ahead and go to the bathroom!" because he's capable of doing it on his own at this point.  Other than his stubborn streak he gets from his mother, he always goes in the toilet.

The problem tonight was that I was alone with the kids and Krystin was getting groceries.  So, being logical, I figure if I can't supervise all 3, then 2 out of 3 isn't too bad.  I walked with Kaleb back to the bathroom and then back to where the other 2 were playing.  Again, Kaleb wanted me to be there.  I said, "Kaleb, I can't be two places at once."  From the other end of the house I hear, "Kaleb, only God can do that.  I guess you'll just have to be with God."

So, if my kids can't be around me, they have to settle and "just be with God."  Is that blasphemy?  Probably, but I don't think God will hold that against a 4 1/2 year old.

Learning to be nice.

**Names have been changed to protect the innocent.**


Emma has now been in Pre-K for almost 2 weeks.  Today she came home and said a classmate of hers was mean to a friend.  They were all drawing self-portraits in class.  "Phineas" says to "Ferb", "Ferb, you look like a girl in your drawing."  I'm proud that Emma realizes that "Phineas" wasn't being nice to "Ferb", but then Emma says to us, "Well, he did look like a girl, but I wasn't going to tell him."

I'm going to miss him....

I tell this story, even at the risk of being judged a bad parent, because I love Emma's perspective on about anything that happens.  For those of you that have kids, you will understand when I say "It could happen to you."  For those of you that don't have kids, you may not understand, but it's pretty funny anyway.

We went to the Great Wolf Lodge this weekend with my brother's family and his sister-in-law's family.  In total, we had 11 kids (between 12 months and 11 years old) against 6 adults.  Overall, this was hardly a fair fight, but it was a great weekend anyway.

We woke up this morning and soon realized what those locks on the back of hotel room doors are for (see photo at left).  Not only are these things supposed to keep people out, but they are to keep 2 1/2 year old little boys where they are supposed to be while his parents are asleep and dead to world.

Kaleb (the 2 1/2 year old) is a great sleeper.  He'll probably major in it during college.  The rest of the famly can wake up and he'll be out for another 30 minutes.  Today was not that day.  Emma woke up and started moving around the room.  The bunk bed area of the room at the Great Wolf Lodge is away from everything else and not easy to see into.  After awhile, we looked in Kaleb's bed to see it empty.  Krystin starts to panic.  I'm not sure why I didn't panic, but I didn't.  I responded by saying "Call security at the front desk." with a tone of voice like it was no big deal.  Note to other dads:  I believe the appropriate tone of voice is somewhere between indifference ("We can always have another.") and total panic.

Both Krystin and Emma walk over toward the phone to call the front desk and Emma says "I'm sure going to miss Kaleb."  I'm not sure if Emma thought Kaleb was gone for good or what, but Emma wanted us to know she is actually fond of her brother.

Even though it was a scary moment, the front desk confirmed that our little Houdini was at the front desk playing computer games.  If you ever go to the Great Wolf Lodge (which I suggest you do), take a Sharpie and clearly write your room number on the wrist bands given to the kids.    My other thought is dog tags:  "Vaccinations Current.  If found, please call (405) 867-5309."  No that's not my number, but if you call it, I'll bet a girl named Jenny will answer.

Working for the weekend....

Tonight I worked late at the office and got home about 8:30 or so.  Emma and Kaleb weren't asleep yet after (sort of) being in bed for 90 minutes.  I go back and talk to them to try to get them to go to sleep and had the following conversation:

Dad:  I've missed you guys.  I had to work late tonight, but I'm back.
Kaleb:  I had to work late too, Dad.
Dad:  Oh really, what did you do?
Kaleb:  I don't know.
Dad:  Do you think you should work late if you don't know what you do?
Kaleb:  I don't know, I work late Dad.
Emma:  Kaleb, you have to work late because you work slooooow!

Is it Friday yet?

A Kaleb-ism

Something about age two causes children to get funnier, at least in our house. Maybe it's because that is when they start to get more verbal. I'm sure their thoughts were always entertaining, we just couldn't hear them before. Here is a conversation I had with Kaleb on the way home from dropping Emma off at preschool today. I had the windows down because it was a nice day.

Kaleb: Mom, can you turn the wind off?
Me: I can't turn the wind off, God makes the wind.
Kaleb: Well he needs to fix it and turn it off.
Me: How do you think he would do that?
Kaleb: Probably with a screw driver. (His answer to anything that needs to be fixed.)
Me: Do you think God has a screw driver?
Kaleb: No. . . . I guess I'll give him mine.

Helping Mom

This morning was one of those morning where I had so much to do that I did not have my undivided attention on all the kids. This is usually recipe for big messes. When will I learn, right?

Yesterday we picked mulberries off the overloaded mulberry tree and have been looking up recipes, trying to decide what to make with them. In the meantime, the mulberries sat on the kitchen counter in a plastic pitcher waiting to be useful.

While I was making lunch, Emma found the mulberries and pulled them off the counter. I told her she could eat one, but she had to put it back after that. I didn't really follow through on making her put it back because I got distracted finishing lunch and keeping Drew happy until I could get his baby food. BIG MISTAKE!

During lunch I noticed the pitcher was completely empty. I asked Emma if she ate all of the mulberries. She said, "No, I filed them."  Um, come again? You filed them? Where? She pointed to the big accordion file that Jarod had left behind when he went to work this morning.

So, I spent the first part of nap time unfiling mushy mulberries from the accordion file. Good thing Jarod had take all of his important documents out of it already. :)

Always the Right Answer

Tonight Emma and Kaleb were being...well, Emma and Kaleb.  The two can go from hugging each other and being polite and nice to seconds later it's a WWE throwdown with Drew in the wings taking bets!  Kaleb was doing his little brother duties and irritating the heck out of Emma.  Emma responded in the best way she knew how...pinch his face until he quit.  In an effort to give a concrete example of the Golden Rule, Krystin asked Emma, "What if the next time you frustrate me I come up and pinch your face?"  Emma responded in her most innocent voice: "Mom, I will always love you no matter what you do."  After making Krystin speechless, Emma continued by quoting from the "I Love You Through and Through" book that names all of a person's body parts, "top side, your glad side, your back side, etc"  Emma got to the "bottom side" and said "Why would I love your bottom side, mom?  I don't know, but I love all of your parts mom!"

Back from a long absence. . .

Sorry it's been so long since the last post. Life has been crazy, and Emma has been Emma of course. We just haven't had the time to write things down so of course we forget them.

So to catch up, the song of the week which was written by Kaleb is "Ode to a booger."
   (Tune of Frere Jacques)

Booger, Booger    Booger, Booger
Kay-ub booger Kay-ub booger (translation: Kaleb's booger)
Booger, Booger, Booger
Booger, Booger, Booger
Kay-ub booger, Kay-ub booger

And just so no one would feel left out, the song went on and on until each family member had their own verse.  Daddy's booger, Mommy's booger, Emma's booger, Drewsie's booger. You get the picture.

When Kaleb is not entertaining us, he is spending his time perfecting the art of irritating his sister. This is afterall his responsibilty to learn as the little brother, so I'm told by Jarod. He might not feel that way if he was the referee as often as I am.

Tonight Jarod put the kids to bed and let them "read" on their beds for a little while before lights out. Kaleb was "reading" Emma's prized possession, the princess Bible with "diamonds" on the cover. After hearing some screaming from the room, Jarod went to investigate. Emma was furious because Kaleb had torn a page of the princess Bible. Jarod asked Kaleb, "Did you tear a page in Emma's Bible?"  "Yes," was his reply. "Was that naughty?" Jarod asked. Before Kaleb could answer, Emma chimed in with, "Even I can see Kaleb's naughty! I have pretty good eyes."