Working for the weekend....

Tonight I worked late at the office and got home about 8:30 or so.  Emma and Kaleb weren't asleep yet after (sort of) being in bed for 90 minutes.  I go back and talk to them to try to get them to go to sleep and had the following conversation:

Dad:  I've missed you guys.  I had to work late tonight, but I'm back.
Kaleb:  I had to work late too, Dad.
Dad:  Oh really, what did you do?
Kaleb:  I don't know.
Dad:  Do you think you should work late if you don't know what you do?
Kaleb:  I don't know, I work late Dad.
Emma:  Kaleb, you have to work late because you work slooooow!

Is it Friday yet?

A Kaleb-ism

Something about age two causes children to get funnier, at least in our house. Maybe it's because that is when they start to get more verbal. I'm sure their thoughts were always entertaining, we just couldn't hear them before. Here is a conversation I had with Kaleb on the way home from dropping Emma off at preschool today. I had the windows down because it was a nice day.

Kaleb: Mom, can you turn the wind off?
Me: I can't turn the wind off, God makes the wind.
Kaleb: Well he needs to fix it and turn it off.
Me: How do you think he would do that?
Kaleb: Probably with a screw driver. (His answer to anything that needs to be fixed.)
Me: Do you think God has a screw driver?
Kaleb: No. . . . I guess I'll give him mine.

Helping Mom

This morning was one of those morning where I had so much to do that I did not have my undivided attention on all the kids. This is usually recipe for big messes. When will I learn, right?

Yesterday we picked mulberries off the overloaded mulberry tree and have been looking up recipes, trying to decide what to make with them. In the meantime, the mulberries sat on the kitchen counter in a plastic pitcher waiting to be useful.

While I was making lunch, Emma found the mulberries and pulled them off the counter. I told her she could eat one, but she had to put it back after that. I didn't really follow through on making her put it back because I got distracted finishing lunch and keeping Drew happy until I could get his baby food. BIG MISTAKE!

During lunch I noticed the pitcher was completely empty. I asked Emma if she ate all of the mulberries. She said, "No, I filed them."  Um, come again? You filed them? Where? She pointed to the big accordion file that Jarod had left behind when he went to work this morning.

So, I spent the first part of nap time unfiling mushy mulberries from the accordion file. Good thing Jarod had take all of his important documents out of it already. :)

Always the Right Answer

Tonight Emma and Kaleb were being...well, Emma and Kaleb.  The two can go from hugging each other and being polite and nice to seconds later it's a WWE throwdown with Drew in the wings taking bets!  Kaleb was doing his little brother duties and irritating the heck out of Emma.  Emma responded in the best way she knew how...pinch his face until he quit.  In an effort to give a concrete example of the Golden Rule, Krystin asked Emma, "What if the next time you frustrate me I come up and pinch your face?"  Emma responded in her most innocent voice: "Mom, I will always love you no matter what you do."  After making Krystin speechless, Emma continued by quoting from the "I Love You Through and Through" book that names all of a person's body parts, "top side, your glad side, your back side, etc"  Emma got to the "bottom side" and said "Why would I love your bottom side, mom?  I don't know, but I love all of your parts mom!"

Back from a long absence. . .

Sorry it's been so long since the last post. Life has been crazy, and Emma has been Emma of course. We just haven't had the time to write things down so of course we forget them.

So to catch up, the song of the week which was written by Kaleb is "Ode to a booger."
   (Tune of Frere Jacques)

Booger, Booger    Booger, Booger
Kay-ub booger Kay-ub booger (translation: Kaleb's booger)
Booger, Booger, Booger
Booger, Booger, Booger
Kay-ub booger, Kay-ub booger

And just so no one would feel left out, the song went on and on until each family member had their own verse.  Daddy's booger, Mommy's booger, Emma's booger, Drewsie's booger. You get the picture.

When Kaleb is not entertaining us, he is spending his time perfecting the art of irritating his sister. This is afterall his responsibilty to learn as the little brother, so I'm told by Jarod. He might not feel that way if he was the referee as often as I am.

Tonight Jarod put the kids to bed and let them "read" on their beds for a little while before lights out. Kaleb was "reading" Emma's prized possession, the princess Bible with "diamonds" on the cover. After hearing some screaming from the room, Jarod went to investigate. Emma was furious because Kaleb had torn a page of the princess Bible. Jarod asked Kaleb, "Did you tear a page in Emma's Bible?"  "Yes," was his reply. "Was that naughty?" Jarod asked. Before Kaleb could answer, Emma chimed in with, "Even I can see Kaleb's naughty! I have pretty good eyes."

Bedtime Prayers (a.k.a. Bedtime Laughs)

I try to keep a straight face when Emma does something that she shouldn't, but it cracks me up and I'm dying laughing on the inside.  Tonight, I just couldn't hold it in.  We were praying at bedtime and I was last to pray.  My prayer goes something like this:

"God, thank you for today and being able to open presents.  Thank you for Kaleb and how much fun we have, how very smart Kaleb is..."  only to be interrupted.

Emma:  He's not very smart.
Dad:  Emma, that's naughty.  Kaleb is very smart and I don't want you to ever say that again.  Do you hear me? [Yes, I can hear my own father saying the exact same thing to me 25 years ago.]

Emma:  [Silence]
Dad:  Emma, do you hear me?
Emma:  Yes, I hear you.
Dad:  What did I say?
Emma:  You said 'Emma, do you hear me?'
Dad:  No, about Kaleb being smart.  I don't ever want to hear you say Kaleb is not smart.  Emma, I want you to say to me "I will never say Kaleb is not very smart.", okay?
Emma:  Okay.  "I will never say Kaleb is not very smart...hey, I just said it again!"

How in the world is a parent supposed to keep a straight face after hearing that?

Christmas Shopping Made Easy

The last 2 weeks have been incredibly hectic.  It seems like 18 deadlines on cases came due at the exact same time.  Since in the last 2 weeks I rarely got home before the kids were in bed, I didn't get a lot of choice Emma-Isms to pass along.  Today, though, is a different story.

Emma seems to have a horrible bias against cleaning.  I'm 110% sure she got that from me.  In her avoidance of cleaning, she got into Krystin's jewelry.  As a backstory to what took place this afternoon, this morning Emma was complaining to Krystin saying "It's not fair.  I have zero rings and you have a bunch of rings.  How come I don't have a bunch of rings?"

Krystin found one of Emma's purses hanging on a random door handle in the hall.  As Krystin goes to put the purse away, she finds a little jewelry box inside.  The following conversation took place next.

Krystin:  What is this in your purse? 
Emma:  No Mommy!  Don't open your Christmas present!
[Krystin opens the box.]
Krystin:  These are my rings Emma!
Emma:  [Spoken sadly:]  I was going to give them to you for Christmas.

So, if you're having trouble deciding what to give someone for Christmas, or it's December 24th and you're in panic mode, take Emma's advice: Give the gift that's already been given.  You know they'll love it! 

Cinderella...I feel ya sister!

Tonight before bed, Emma decided to play dress up.  Nothing wrong with a little healthy fantasy play.  So, Emma gets one of her princess dresses on and comes out to the living room.  Krystin sees her and says

Krystin:  Emma, you're supposed to be in your room cleaning before you go to bed.
Emma:  (In a very low, sullen voice) Ok step-mother.

To all the relatives, please do NOT give her Cinderella for a Christmas present!

Tricking my Tongue

Tonight Emma was not crazy about the chicken broccoli and rice casserole we were having for dinner, but she really wanted some chocolate pudding. I told her she had to eat the casserole if she wanted the pudding. She whined, "But I don't like this dinner!" I replied, "Just start saying you love it. Maybe you can trick your tongue and your mouth will start liking it." A few minutes later I hear her talking to herself saying, "I love it, I LOVE it! This is so yummy! Ha, tongue, I tricked you! MOM!!!! It's really working! I ate it all gone!"

Selling Eliza Kate

Most of you know that I design little girls' clothing and sell it through a company I call Eliza Kate Designs. If you didn't, hop on over and have a look around at this season's designs! http://www.elizakatedesigns.com/ (shameless plug)

A friend had a trunk show at her house this weekend, and Emma really wanted to come along, so I brought her.  She loves wearing my designs and telling everyone mommy made them. How can I argue with that kind of free advertising, right? People are seriously going to think I put her up to this, but I swear I had nothing to do with it! She asked the hostess of the party, "Do you sew?" The hostess replied, "Terribly, so I guess, no, I don't." Emma said, "Ok, that's why you need that catalog I just gave you." Then she proceeded to pass out order forms in the same manner to other people at the party. Nothing wrong with letting a three year old earn her keep, right?

My Little Stylist

Emma has begun to take her creative genius to a new level. She has now taken on hair styling. After seeing many such styles on her own hair, it should stand to reason that my own hair would very soon become vicitm to her outrageous stylings. She was very purposeful and serious as she added each piece. I must say that she was fired from her job before it was all over, however, because she didn't know how to get the clips back out and just started yanking. YOUCH!!!